issues and tissues

Five years ago, this issue has never bothered me. After that, it's all I think about.

First time in a very long time (it could be: First time ever), I spent more than two hours on the dining table eating after a long day of fasting. I enjoyed a marvelous buffet at a nearby club house with some good friends and gosh, was there a lot to eat. I actually was quite satisfied with only one round of food, but somehow I felt a little challenged because the others were going for their fourth and fifth rounds. Also I felt I had to make full use of the price paid to have the buffet.

So after the buffet session, I felt I was going to explode. I felt I was nine months pregnant. I felt fat.

When someone says, "I feel fat," you know that person has been brainwashed by the "fat Nazis," that is, those who themselves are obsessed with thinness.It is all a result of mental programming.We don't feel fat in the body.The place we feel fat is in the mind.The weight loss industry and the world of fashion and entertainment have brainwashed us and created this unhealthy obsession in our twentieth-century society.

Vijai P. Sharma, PhD. - Feeling Fat is an Attitude of the Mind.

It is different to feel fat and to actually be fat. I only realised this last week when I was browsing around Popular Bookstore and came across this self-help book which I cannot remember its title. I read an article in the book with the heading: 'Fat is a feeling' - and I felt as if I was the author. Each sentence applied to me and was very much true.

Now to think about it, I was rather chubby three years back but I never complained about it. I only became a little weight cautious after the countless comments from my relatives. Whereas for today, people think I'm look alright the way I am but I'm neverending complaining about my excess parts. I think most of the time I experience the feeling of being fat.

Why do we feel this way?

1. Our tummy is bulging out over our jeans and it's so obvious when we sit down.

2. We have had so much to eat and feel guity because our stomach is hard.

3. Some say we feel it because things in life don't go our way. When this happens, we would focus on ourselves and point out the bad things about ourselves. Make sense but I have never used this as my reason.

4. We compare ourselves with friends and family members. The silliest is to compare ourselves with celebrities who can afford to hire personal dietician and trainers and of course, liposuction.

What should be done when the feeling haunts you?

1. Don't ever look at the mirror. If you're lucky, you'll get a mirror which flatters your body. I have come across many mean mirrors and let me tell you this, mirrors often are not my best friends. So if you want to get me a mirror, give me something which can make me feel good.

2. Wear bigger clothes so that you can hide the hideous flash. My uni hoodie used to be my favourite feel good top.

3. Warn everyone around you to not talk about this sensitive issue. Some might actually cry talking about this. In fact, wear a t-shirt with these words on it: 'I feel fat today so leave me alone'. (credit)

4. Stay away from weighing scales. Truth hurts.

Discussion

When these three little words are said, do they really come from the mind or can they also come out as a result of actually being fat? How is fatness measured anyway?

I think that what you see in yourself is of course different from what people see when they look at you. I have always complained about having liposuction and my friends have also kept saying I am silly because they say there's nothing to suck out. Personally, these words can come from both the mind and the actual physic but for the latter, maybe the correct words should be 'I am ---'.

I somehow understand why my friends are irritated when I keep saying these little words. If I were in their shoes, I would too. But the problem about being a very typical XY creature is that you can never stop thinking about this issue. And the problem about being me is that I talk non-stop so sometimes I tend to repeat myself.