mall hopping

I can now confidently say that I am a shoe addict. Although it sucks when you have to share the shoe cabinet with the rest of the family.

Today's new place to explore was The Gardens at Midvalley. Honestly I never knew that it was being constructed. I only found out about it two days ago and I thought I must pay this place a visit.

The Gardens was expectedly posh, somewhat like StarHill when I went there ten years ago. There were gazillion of people walking across the path which connected Midvalley Megamall (yet another shopping mall) to this newbie and I felt as if I was entering BEP's concert hall. Once entered, the interior of the mall dropped my jaws as it was beautifully designed. The line of shops sell things which was beyond my budget so I only had a good window shopping session.

Since the selection of restaurants were still very limited, I had to return to the shoe-heaven-Megamall for some food to break fast with. It was more than an hour before the breaking fast time but oh-my-lord, the queues were crazy at all eating places. I was even thinking of settling for snacks from Carrefour but thankfully there were some empty tables at this pricey italian restaurant. At least I didn't have to delay dinner.

At the restaurant I sat across this family of three just a meter away from me. They ordered their food just before I did mine but somehow my order arrived first. Both the family and I were waiting for the time for break our fasts and when it was time, their food still had not arrived. It is of course not advisable to delay breaking fast but I thought I was being rude for eating in front of them considering that they sat on their table first. The thought of offering my food to them popped up my mind but do people actually do that? So I ate my pizza quietly.

When their order came 10 to 15 minutes after we started eating, I noticed that their pizza was the exact one we ordered! Oh the horror. The scary part was that I was facing the man of the family. I could see clearly the dissatisfaction upon his face, his anger reaching its boiling point. I sped up with the food and left the place as soon as I could.

Then I happily headed to the old sweet One Utama.

issues and tissues

Five years ago, this issue has never bothered me. After that, it's all I think about.

First time in a very long time (it could be: First time ever), I spent more than two hours on the dining table eating after a long day of fasting. I enjoyed a marvelous buffet at a nearby club house with some good friends and gosh, was there a lot to eat. I actually was quite satisfied with only one round of food, but somehow I felt a little challenged because the others were going for their fourth and fifth rounds. Also I felt I had to make full use of the price paid to have the buffet.

So after the buffet session, I felt I was going to explode. I felt I was nine months pregnant. I felt fat.

When someone says, "I feel fat," you know that person has been brainwashed by the "fat Nazis," that is, those who themselves are obsessed with thinness.It is all a result of mental programming.We don't feel fat in the body.The place we feel fat is in the mind.The weight loss industry and the world of fashion and entertainment have brainwashed us and created this unhealthy obsession in our twentieth-century society.

Vijai P. Sharma, PhD. - Feeling Fat is an Attitude of the Mind.

It is different to feel fat and to actually be fat. I only realised this last week when I was browsing around Popular Bookstore and came across this self-help book which I cannot remember its title. I read an article in the book with the heading: 'Fat is a feeling' - and I felt as if I was the author. Each sentence applied to me and was very much true.

Now to think about it, I was rather chubby three years back but I never complained about it. I only became a little weight cautious after the countless comments from my relatives. Whereas for today, people think I'm look alright the way I am but I'm neverending complaining about my excess parts. I think most of the time I experience the feeling of being fat.

Why do we feel this way?

1. Our tummy is bulging out over our jeans and it's so obvious when we sit down.

2. We have had so much to eat and feel guity because our stomach is hard.

3. Some say we feel it because things in life don't go our way. When this happens, we would focus on ourselves and point out the bad things about ourselves. Make sense but I have never used this as my reason.

4. We compare ourselves with friends and family members. The silliest is to compare ourselves with celebrities who can afford to hire personal dietician and trainers and of course, liposuction.

What should be done when the feeling haunts you?

1. Don't ever look at the mirror. If you're lucky, you'll get a mirror which flatters your body. I have come across many mean mirrors and let me tell you this, mirrors often are not my best friends. So if you want to get me a mirror, give me something which can make me feel good.

2. Wear bigger clothes so that you can hide the hideous flash. My uni hoodie used to be my favourite feel good top.

3. Warn everyone around you to not talk about this sensitive issue. Some might actually cry talking about this. In fact, wear a t-shirt with these words on it: 'I feel fat today so leave me alone'. (credit)

4. Stay away from weighing scales. Truth hurts.

Discussion

When these three little words are said, do they really come from the mind or can they also come out as a result of actually being fat? How is fatness measured anyway?

I think that what you see in yourself is of course different from what people see when they look at you. I have always complained about having liposuction and my friends have also kept saying I am silly because they say there's nothing to suck out. Personally, these words can come from both the mind and the actual physic but for the latter, maybe the correct words should be 'I am ---'.

I somehow understand why my friends are irritated when I keep saying these little words. If I were in their shoes, I would too. But the problem about being a very typical XY creature is that you can never stop thinking about this issue. And the problem about being me is that I talk non-stop so sometimes I tend to repeat myself.

officially not a fan

As for today, I am officially not a fan of the all techy cameraphones. Frankly, I have never got so excited of having a mobile phone with a built-in camera. I'm probably contradicting the nature of my profession, but sometimes I do prefer things to be as simple and traditional as it possibly can. So let the mobile phone be the device for you to receive and make calls and txt messages.

I was taking the LRT back from the city centre today and I noticed this boy (or a man, why would I care?) across me holding his phone upright in front of his face. Tell me who write his txt messages like that? If I'm not mistaken, the phone used was one of the Sony Ericsons and his camera shutter was down. I knew for sure that my picture was being taken but what was I to do? I only moved further away from the dude.

I won't deny that cameraphones have their benefits. A few years back, I used the cameraphone technology to help our committee members prepare for the then upcoming event. Time was running out and we had to buy a roof for our Malaysian kampung house. Because the designer of the house was not with me when I shop for supplies and because I didn't know what type of roof he wanted, the cameraphone saved our time. So it's no doubt that cameraphones can come in handy.

Cameraphones can help to solve crimes, can lighten your handbags because of the 2-in-1 feature, can do this and that, yada yada yada... it's all good. But what about respecting people's privacy?

I'm talking mainly about the pervs out there. I have heard many times that some sneakily take a snap up girls' skirts when dining. Like my case today, being photographed just in front of my two eyes by a person I don't know. Compliment? Maybe. Flattered? F**k no. Freaky? Absolutely.

So please keep away your cameraphones from me. I ain't no celebrity.

tired, no?

Can you actually believe that I was at one point sick of going shopping? Have you ever heard of the saying: if you are looking for something, you won't find it?

I was nearly on the verge of breaking down yesterday in the heart of KL when I was supposed to get my Eid dress (Baju Raya, orang Melayu call it). Honestly, I have never bought a pair of these Malay traditional clothes by myself so you can imagine how lost I was trying to decide which cutting I wanted, what material I prefered, and what price range was reasonable. I was completely hopeless and in fact scared to be there. I was as if in a foreign country somewhere in South Asia.

At the end of the day, I managed to get a decent pair of baju with a lot of sweat on my back. I wasn't very happy because there was still so much to shop for - Eid, weddings (to attend, don't get excited just yet), and of course the preparation for the beginning of my career. And because there was so much to think of, I got tired of shopping and wished I didn't have to do it for a long long period of time.

Today, I was dreading to go shopping (I had to do it as I was running out of time). Surprisingly after two hours in the mall, my weird sickness of hating to shop has recovered and err.. I started to buy unnecessary things. I now have made a promise to myself to not spend for the next two weeks. Whoever who reads this, please be the witness!

Quoting from someone: "Girls and shopping, it's like irama dan lagu".

blabber 1

Yesterday for buka, I was asked to assist in making some traditional curry puffs for the family and some friends. I love curry puffs and I always knew that the process of making them is very tedious. I gave it a go anyway, just to find out how funny my curry puffs would look like.


My mother requested me to practice my folding skills with Play-Doh after obversing my ugly looking work. In the picture above, the ones on the left are mine whereas on the right they are the perfect little curry puffs made by my mother. I know presentation is important but once they're in your stomach, they would all look the same. Hehe.

A few days ago, I overheard my father discussing with his friend on how children these days cannot afford living with their work salary in some significant kind of lifestyle. They emphasised on designer's espressos and I was a little ashamed. It's true, at least for me. I have been living this sort of lifestyle since I was studying abroad. Whenever I want to catch up with friends, I would definitely end up at one of these coffee place. Even when I need to catch up with work, these cafes would be my choice of place. I think these coffee houses are pretty convenient. Everything under one roof - the drinks, the food, wireless connection, air-conditioning, good music, comfort, comfort and comfort.


The above is my personal favourite. I know I should have some sense of loyalty to the cafe I used to work in and to another competitor for which I used to always get free drinks. I don't know, I just can never get sick of this place. Even when their drinks are no longer up to my standard.

Let me tell you some of my experience with Starbucks Coffee:

1. I was introduced to Caramel Macchiatto 4 years ago and since then it has become my usual order.

2. Due to some bad influence, I.... erm.... stole one of their tall sized mugs.

3. I get 20% to 30% discount off my total bill in Penang because my cousin is a Starbucks' Coffee Master.

4. One Indian-English barista is Edinburgh Forest Road branch was cute.

5. Tell me who doesn't go dating in Starbucks?

6. Ever since my trip to Uptown 37's Starbucks, my Caramel Macchiatto is never perfect anymore. They need to go easy with the foam and give me more milk, goddammit!

Inhale... exhale... maybe if someone was generous enough to get me an espresso machine, I could make my own Caramel Macchiatto and not complain a lot.

cheers

I did not only discovered disgusting things yesterday when I was helping to clean up the apartment. I found a couple of Iran's non-alcoholic beers in the kitchen cabinet so I thought hmm, why not give it a go. I brought back two bottles home.

The trial session took place in the dark as if we were smuggling some illegal substance. Initally both the peach and lemon flavoured beers smelt funny and I personally was a bit worried to taste it. Peach drink tasted funky but surprisingly the lemon one was nice. As expected, no one got tipsy at the end of the night.

quotes

So far, this week is one of the most challenging week I've experienced. Full of uncertainties and also involves a lot of decision making. I am still going through my transition mode and it's definitely a love-hate relationship between the mode and I.

While I am trying to make my mind about something, I came across these really good words from a song. It says,

"And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. "

Rascal Flatts - My Wish

These words have been lingering in my head all day today. These are strong words and perhaps are influencing my say about this situation I am facing.

One other phrase I always reread is from the current book I'm reading. Maybe this is not particularly related to my problem that needs solving, but it could help if some words are replaced.

"I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to 'Yes', she ought to say 'No' directly."

Jane Austen - Emma

Two very significant phrases which I will consider carefully.

back to school

For the Edinburgers, today is their first day of a new academic year. I was not sure what went on in my head but today was also the first day I stepped foot in a university after I left the 'Burgh.

I actually had never planned this so-called road trip beforehand. The next thing I know, I was on the way to Semenyih to visit the University of Nottingham, Malaysia Campus. It was a long journey away from where I live and the traffic was quite bad. I made a mistake of wearing black jeans because today was exceptionally hot and I felt as if my legs were in a sauna.

The scenery on the way there was different from what I'm used to. In fact, I felt as if I was far up north of the country rather than being near the capital. I finally reached my destination approximately 50 minutes after leaving home and wow, I was actually quite impressed with the exterior of the university.

I have been to the University of Nottingham in the UK four years ago. I might be wrong but I thought the Malaysia Campus looked similar to that of in the UK. Then I was told that they were actually trying to build it similar to the one in the UK. After stepping out the car to explore the campus, I realised that I have made a huge mistake for not bringing my camera.

The first stop of the tour was the library and thankfully it was fully air-conditioned and worked well. Once I stepped in, I wished I need not leave the room. I explored the EEE sections, I guess the geeky electronics girl has not left this body yet. It was funny that I still found the books interesting even when I have bitched a lot about the course.

Next was the triple E building. Nothing can beat The King's Buildings in my former university. There was nothing much to see at the Malaysia Nottingham's triple E building but it was still exciting being in a place where I know what the fancy equipments do.

I went around the Student Union and then noticed that there were a lot of Nigerian students. Most of them were well built and I felt very intimidated walking pass them. They were indeed very stylish and no doubt an eye-catcher. I apparently bumped into one lad and he nodded his head in the "How're you doin'" style. That was quite funny.

The layout of the university was nicely done however with the tropical weather Malaysia is having, I personally don't think many of the chill-out spots can be utilised. There was this beautiful lake in front of the main building with ducks swimming around, but I highly doubt that students would appreciate walking around the lake in this heat. There was also a nice big fountain somewhere in the campus but because the trees were only being planted, they couldn't provide shelter from the burning sun. Whereas indoors, I saw the potential of a great chill-out place and it was still under renovation.

An interesting place to go to today. I don't regret any single bit of it.

usual to me, what about you?

Have you ever walked in a shopping mall with a person next to you and then suddenly feel an electric shock on your skin and even hear the zapping sound as you accidentally made contact with the person? I don't know about you lot out there but it happens to me all the time and it usually occurs when I walk in malls.

I thought I would know the explanation for this as I actually have some electrical background but surprise surprise, I don't. So I googled for some answers about this occurrence and then realised that I do feel it too whenever I try to shut my mom's car doors. Anyway, it is called the static shock.

Because I get really irritated with the effect after the shock (it makes my skin itch for a while), I tried to find ways to prevent it. First I needed to understand what causes it and based from my readings, it may be due to the dryness of the skin or what one is wearing. Dry environment can also encourage the occurrence. So that explains why I always get the shock when I'm shopping. Also strengthens my point about my contact lenses drying up in the mall.

Of course there are ways to prevent it, but I'm not sure how effective these are. Based on my sources, you should always moisturise your skin and avoid wearing synthetic clothes. Fine.. some of my clothes have some synthetics and my shoes are not very safety cautioned.

As for avoiding getting shocks from closing the car door, I have always practise shutting the door with my foot. I have had enough with the static shocks from the door due to the embarassment received whenever I swore out all the vulgar words I have in my vocab when I got the shock. Plus it is a good practice to be shutting the door with your feet, knuckles or elbows because it prevents the shock to happen at your fingertips where the pain nerves are most sensitive.

And now I feel so intelligent.

RIP

A fully utilised Sunday, that's what today was like. But everything just went with the flow as I did not plan for today to be as exciting as this.

Well, not quite exciting. Something fishy has gone on in my fish bowl today. All my fishes have died suddenly without any known reasons. At 4 in the morning, they were all normally swimming in the bowl and the next thing I know, three have died. It was really upsetting because they were all fine before this. The final fish joined the others later in the afternoon and that's the end of my responsibility as a fish owner.

Sometimes I wonder whether it is any different to take care of a cat instead of fishes. I have dreamt about petting a cat and only waiting for the right opportunity to realise my dream. But after this experience, I fear that I may only manage to keep the cat alive for just more than two weeks. And somehow to kill a cat is more scary looking than to kill some small fishes.

Worries put aside. Earlier, I took my brother for some games of bowling. We managed to attract some attention from this middle aged lady on the next lane who seemed so impressed with my brother's bowling skills. Once he scored a strike (he has the potential to be better than me, who is surprised?) and the lady pointed to my brother and said to her friends, "Oooh, did you guys see that? That little boy just scored a strike!". It also took me by surprise because the ball he threw often hit the side barriers which prevent the ball to enter the longkang, making a zig zag line and finally hit the pins at the centre and knocked all ten pins! Some luck. Whereas, I have sprained my wrist (which I nearly called my ankle!) while I was throwing the disgustingly oily bowling ball.

Because I am very very particular about my physique, I decided to run around the park just before breaking fast. I then only realised how much energy I had when I was fasting and it was not impressive at all. Try doing sit ups when your stomach is empty. You'd stop doing it after the fifth time because you'd be embarassed that your empty stomach is singing out loud while you are struggling with the sit ups.

And here I am still working on my new physical challenge which has yet to be revealed.

wiseman says

It has been a while since I felt this way. Ever since I left university, I realised that whatever I did wasn't the best I could give. Until yesterday. I thought I have given all I could, although not completely due to the fasting session, and honestly I have never felt so tired and stressed up about something since my final year exams four months ago.

Everything that has been happening for the past week probably will not offer me the satisfaction and security which I have longed, but it surely does help me be aware of the future happenings. I figure with the amount of time I prepare for it each time, however disappointing the outcome would be, I'd give myself more exposure to these challenging experience. That's how it goes, doesn't it - you learn from your mistakes.

Here are some words of advice:

If you don't like the way things are in your life, do something about it.

If you have been disappointed, think about it for a wee while then get up on your two feet and move on.

bits and pieces

Professor Snape looks very ill. The surviving fish which my little sister bought last week is not looking good today. He keeps resting on the floating leaf in the water, if not on the stones at the bottom of the bowl. I worry very much of his health. It doesn't look like he's going to be here long.

Update: Hantu Ikan has taken over. Snape is dead. :(

I am finally experiencing this again. Spending Ramadhan at home where I don't have to worry about what to eat for breaking fast. No more having pathetic sandwiches. No more having that oily and fattening mosque beriyani. Soon enough, I don't have to feel guilty for skipping lectures on Hari Raya day.


Suddenly out of nowhere, I'm craving for chocolate muffins. Would it be mean to be baking chocolatey things when my younger siblings are fasting? Probably it is, but tough, I think I am baking tomorrow. Something to keep me occupied.

happy ramadhan

All because of this weekend, I got into some kind of trouble today. Getting the suitable thing was one hell of a challenge. I suffered a massive headache until I have nearly given up looking. Thought I needed to ease my mind so I bought myself a pair of shoes. Totally didn't need it but it was pretty effective because my headache went away.

It's true how buying something sometimes helps when I'm under some sort of stress. It is a bloody expensive solution and I wish I can say I hardly do it. Seems like these days I've been spending as if money grows from trees. Trouble number one: Fire in the hole. Cash is constantly burning.

Actually that's the only major trouble I'm facing. I somehow ended up with another book today, so that's going to keep me occupied until the end of the year.

Selamat berpuasa everybody. May all of us enjoy the Bazaar Ramadhan and Tarawih this month.

classic

Ever since I have finished reading The Deathly Hallows, I've been browsing through many bookstores just to find the perfect book to read for the next 2 months (hehe, considering the speed that I read books!). I went into Borders today hoping I could select something from the new released and the recommended sections but nothing has seemed to impress me.

Finally I bought a classic tale by Jane Austen. Her Pride and Prejudice was amazingly lovely and BBC has made a brilliant job putting it in motion picture. Since then, I was curious about her other stories and I guess now is a right time to venture them. So I am starting off with Emma.

On a completely different story, I supposed what happened today was not at all a waste of my time. I got to experience and also learn one of the challenges and maybe tricks in adulthood. This is only the beginning and I am expecting more out of it. It's exciting. I have to say.

"You're not somehow related to Sean Ghazi, are you?" - This is classic too.

And by the way, Mother, if you are reading this by any chance, can I please have the object below?

one step ahead

Will it be a waste of my time?
We will have to find out tomorrow!

FYI

If anybody would want to talk about karma, I can confidently say that I am a strong believer. Life has taught me that what goes around would somehow, someway find its way back. I thought it was a little unfair to be reminding me that karma is indeed a bitch.

Bear in mind that everything happens for a reason. I have my own and as far as I am concerned, I am well understood by those who have been keeping up with the situation. Of course it is likewise on the otherside, and I think the flaw in this case is that people have only heard either side of it.

I don't think there is a right or wrong person here and I don't think it is fair to be making assumptions about the opposition. What I don't know won't hurt me and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

cherry on top

It was a long afternoon for me as I had to make a lot of decisions on what looks appropriate when I want to make a good impression to a certain party. My head nearly exploded trying to pick the right things but I guess I was lucky I didn't have to face the challenge all alone.

I knew I was going to be knackered after the 5 hour walk around the mall but I had a movie date at night. So I dragged myself out looking like a zombie and realised that I was forty-five minutes early for the film. At last, I have finally found the perfect moment to indulge myself with Bakerzin's sinful desserts.

In fact, I was only supposed get some coffee to make sure that I stay awake during the film. But those yummy looking cakes were calling out for me. I couldn't resist so I decided to get the Cookies and Cream Cheesecake.

Holy shmolly. The cheesecake was it. The icing on top of my cake. The cherry on top of my ice cream. Something which was actually beyond perfection. Is rated O.

The night was wonderful and the film was ace.

the end

I finally know the end of the Harry Potter story. It's definitely old news now, but I am alright with finding out the conclusion when everyone else has known it for about 2 months now. I have to admit I am a really slow reader. The thing is, I like to take my time reading books and also do other things at the same time.

You can never imagine how much I was tortured during my times reading this final book. Spoilers were everywhere - on the local newspapers, on the internet, and also from friends who have finished reading it. They have made people very mean to me, threatening to reveal who dies and who lives. It also made me become too aggressive and I remember saying, "I'll kill you if you speak to me about Harry Potter" to a poor colleague. Too much influence from Lord Voldemort.

Now, nobody can bully me about Harry Potter no more!

new addition

This is not as exciting as having a new addition in the family as such having a new nephew or niece.

Last Tuesday, my little sister decided to follow my footsteps of having fishes as pets. With her own two ringgit, she bought a pair of moon fish, slightly bigger than mine and have orange and black tails. She was so excited about them and wanted to have a separate fish bowl just for her two brand new fishes.

I left and came back an hour after my sister brought back these 2 new lives into our home and I couldn't help but check them out. Instead of swimming up right like how fishes normally do, hers were swimming sideways. I knew it wasn't right so I quickly transferred them into my bowl of fishes. Moments after I did, these 2 new fishes went berserk. One actually sank onto the base of the bowl and hang about there. The next moment it decided to move, it laid on the floating leaf in the bowl. I knew that was it. The real nyawa-nyawa ikan. And it died not more than 2 hours in its new home. Poor fish.

Thankfully the other fish is still alive and kicking. A bit to agressive for my liking because my four fishes are not as crazy as this newbie. And by the way, they're a week old now! I am actually capable of taking care of pets.

pink is my favourite colour

This picture was taken more than 2 years ago in Barcelona, the oh-so-wonderful holiday of the world. If I'm not mistaken, this was the first time I noticed the dragon fruits probably because of their weird physique and striking colour.

And only today, I tried tasting it. I'm afraid it is now my current favourite thing. If it wasn't because of my former school teacher who sold the dragon fruits for a very attractive price, my father wouldn't have had bought 6 kilos of them and made me curious about their taste. The texture of the fruit is just like that of kiwi, except dragon fruits are not sour like kiwis. And the best bit of eating these fruits is when the little seeds are being bitten.

I have heard from many sources that if you eat too much of the dragon fruits, your waste will also be as bright as the fruit. For me, the opportunity to experience it has not risen yet so I think I will have to put more effort to it.

Another Big Day

My brother suddenly said to me, "I can't wait to see them kiss." I snapped at him and said this was a Malay wedding (an engagement actually) and it's not in our culture for the newly-engaged couple to kiss. That was pretty weird coming from my little brother.

What I had in mind before I left for the ceremony was to show my face and have some lovely food to eat. But I was nicely approached by my aunt and was requested to help carry one of the eight hantarans from the bride-to-be to the groom-to-be. It was funny because I was wearing yellow and so did most of the hantaran girls.

Thankfully I have had experience in this area (hehe) so I wasn't nervous at all. Plus, I had to carry cupcakes to the groom's family - was that a sign or what? Of course their cupcakes were nicer than mine. I mean, everyone's cupcakes are nicer than my fairy cakes. I have to admit.

Anyway, it was a lovely event. Most of my uncles and aunts were there and it was wonderful that many of my cousins turned up too. We catched up and joked around about who's getting hitched next. And somehow I think being chosen as a hantaran girl was an indirect way to 'sell' the gift carrier girls to the eligible men out there. Pretty obvious right? It's very rare for a married woman to be selected to do the honourable job.

Fishy update: All Harry, Ron and Hermoine are very well healthy even when they live with the fatty evil Voldemort. Their home now is full with plants and I am very happy that they survived their first day under my care :)